彼得.基.贝得勒

美国《读者文摘》杂志1985年5月号

　　　　你为什么要当教师呢？当我的朋友问我这个问题时，我告诉他我不想被认为是处于达官显赫的这样一个境地。使他迷惑不解的是。我所抛弃的显然正是所有的美国孩子自幼所一直被教导去追求的人生成功之路：金钱和权力。

　　我当然不想当教师，因为教书对我来说简直太难了。在我妄想赖以谋生的所有职业中，象推土机手，木匠，大学管理人员，作家－－当教师是最难的了。对我来说，教书意味着“熬红的双眼”，因为我从未对自己的备课满意过，上课的前一天晚上我总是准备到深夜。“汗湿的手心”，因为当我走进教室的时侯永远是紧张的，生怕又会被发现犯了傻。“沉重的心情”，因为当我一小时后走出教室时，可能又被认为上了一堂比以前更令人乏味的课。

　　我不想当教师，因为我认为我总是知道答案，或者我总想把我所知道的那些知识强让我的学生去接受。有时我简直怀疑我的那些学生们真的在课堂上把我所教给他们的都记下了吗？

　　那么，我为什么还要当教师呢？

　　我要当教师因为我喜欢学校工作日历所提供的生活节奏。六月、七月和八月的假期，给了我一个机会去思索、研究和写作－－为今后的教学总结我的心得。

　　我要当教师因为教学永远是一个变化无穷的工作。甚至当我的教材是同样的，我总是改变着教学方法，然而更重要的是，我的学生总是在变化。

　　我要当教师因为我喜欢有出错的自由，有吸取教训的自由，有激励我自己和我的学生的自由。作为一个教师，我就是我自己的老板。即使我要求我的一年级新生去编一本如何写作文的教课书，谁又敢说不呢？这样的课程可能会完全失败，但我们都能从失败中学到些什么。

　　我要当教师因为我喜欢提出那些学生必须尽力思索才能回答的问题。这世界充满着对蹩脚古怪问题的正确答案。在教学中，我有时有意回避那些正统的提问。

　　我要当教师因为我喜欢学习。确实，我之所以感到我的教师生涯还颇有活力，是因为我总是不断地学习。我人生事业中最重要的发现之一就是，我之所以是最好的教师，不是因为我懂得多少，正相反是我酷爱学习。

　　我要当教师因为我以我能设法将我自己和我的学生从象牙塔式的传统封闭式的学习中解脱出来而进入外面的真实世界。我曾经教过一门称之为“在高科技社会中自我生存”的课程。我的十五位学生读过爱默生、梭罗和豪士利的作品。他们坚持记笔记。他们写出了学期论文。

　　然而我同样创建了一个公司，从银行贷款买下了一幢便宜的房子，经过同学们自我动手实践进行装修改造，在学期结束，我们买掉了房子，还清了贷款，上交了所得税并且分了红利。

　　当然这绝不是你所想象的一般性的英语课。但十五位未来的律师、会计师及商人突然发现他们正在用一个全新的眼光看待梭罗的“沃而登”一书。他们懂得了为什么他要去森林，他如何建立起他的木屋，而且为什么他如此欣赏他的经历以至于他要将此公布于世。他们同样也明白了为什么他最后终于离开了森林。他已经尝到了沃而登湖水的滋味。现在该是去品尝另一种饮料的时侯了。

　　我要当教师因为教学给了我许多的饮料去品味，许多森林去进入和离开，许多好书去阅读，许多象牙塔般高深领域和现实世界的经历去探索。教学给了我前进的步伐，多变的人生和挑战以及不断学习的机会。

　　尽管如此，我还是忘了说我为什么要当教师的最重要的理由。

　　我的第一位博士生名叫维姬。她是一个十分有能力的年轻人，她一度由于未能通过文学课而使她申请奖学金受挫。但她勤奋不懈地研究撰写了一篇关于一位鲜为人知的十四世纪的诗人的论文。她终于完成了论文，并将它寄到著名的杂志予以发表。除偶尔请教了我几次，这几乎完全是由她自己完成的。当她完成了论文，通过了论文答辩，获得了一份工作并且赢得了哈拂大学的一笔奖学金用于将其论文写成一部专著时，使我感到欣慰的是，作为我的学生，她茁壮地生根、发芽成长起来了。

　　我的另一位学生名叫乔治。他是我所教过的最聪明的学生之一。他一开始学的是工程学，而后他转学英语因为他终于认识到他对人比对物更感兴趣。他一直在校学习直到他获得硕士学位。现在他在一所高级中学教英语。

　　还有一位学生名叫吉娜。她曾一度辍学，但她的一些同学把她找了回来，因为他们希望她能看到自我实现课题的结局。她回来了，她还是我的学生。作为她的老师，她告诉我她后来变得对城郊穷人的状况十分感兴趣，她致力于这个课题成为一名人权律师。

　　另有一位学生名叫杰卡。她是一个十分爱整洁的人而且有着一种绝大多数那怕学过分析学的人所不能及的学习天份。杰卡决定停止高中的学习而直接进入大学。

　　这些就是我为什么要当教师的理由。这些学生在我眼前成长、变化着。当一名教师就好比在创造生命，我可以看到我所孕育的泥人开始呼吸。没有什么能比能那么近的亲眼看到生命的呼吸更令人激动的了。

　　不当教师，我或许可以得到地位、金钱和权力，但我是有钱的。我从我所最乐意去做的事情中得到了报酬：读书学习，和人们交谈，去发现或者去提出象这样的一个问题，“什么才是真正的富有？”

　　我也有权力。我有权力去提请别人注意，去展开有趣的话题，去问那些难以回答的问题，去表扬一个大胆的回答，去谴责掩盖真理，去向学生推荐书籍，去指出前进的道路。我还会去在乎其它什么权力吗？

　　但是当教师也确实提供了一些除了金钱和权力之外的东西：它提供了“爱”。不仅仅是对学习的爱，对书本的爱，对思想的爱，而且是作为一个教师所能感受到的那些难得的学生步入教师的生活并开始呼吸的爱。或许“爱”用在这儿并不尽意，用“神奇”一词更为恰当。

　　我当教师是因为我生活在那些开始呼吸的人们中间，我有时甚至能感受到他们的气息中也有我自己的气息。

　　作者简介：彼得·基·贝得勒，隶哈尔大学英语教授，荣获1983年度美国教育进步和援助基金会授于的全美教授的荣誉称号。

原文：

                                                                  Why I Teach

                                                               Peter G. Beidler

    Why do you teach？My friend asked the question when I told him that I didn't want to be considered for an administrative position. He was puzzled that I did not want what was obviously a "step up" toward what all Americans are taught to want when they grow up：money and power.

    Certainly I don't teach because teaching is easy for me. Teaching is the most difficult of the various ways I have attempted to earn my living：mechanic，carpenter，writer. For me， teaching is a red-eye，sweaty-palm，sinking-stomach profession. Red-eye，because I never feel ready to teach no matter how late I stay up preparing. Sweaty-palm，because I'm always nervous before I enter the classroom，sure that I will be found out for the fool that I am. Sinking-stomach，because I leave the classroom an hour later convinced that I was even more boring than usual.

    Nor do I teach because I think I know answers，or because I have knowledge I feel compelled to share. Sometimes I am amazed that my students actually take notes on what I say in class！

    Why，then，do I teach？

    I teach because I like the pace of the academic calendar. June，July，and August offer an opportunity for reflection，research and writing.

    I teach because teaching is a profession built on change. When the material is the same，I change —— and，more important，my students change.

    I teach because I like the freedom to make my own mistakes，to learn my own lessons，to stimulate myself and my students. As a teacher，I'm my own boss. If I want my freshmen to learn to write by creating their own textbook，who is to say I can't？Such courses may be huge failures，but we can all learn from failures.

    I teach because I like to ask questions that students must struggle to answer. The world is full of right answers to bad questions. While teaching，I sometimes find good questions.

    I teach because I enjoy finding ways of getting myself and my students out of the ivory tower and into the real world. I once taught a course called "Self-Reliance in a Technological Society." My 15 students read Emerson，Thoreau，and Huxley. They kept diaries. They wrote term papers.

    But we also set up a corporation，borrowed money，purchased a run-down house and practiced self-reliance by renovating it. At the end of the semester，we would the house， repaid our loan，paid or taxes，and distributed the profits among the group.

    So teaching gives me pace，and variety，and challenge，and the opportunity to keep on learning.

    I have left out，however，the most important reasons why I teach.

    One is Vicky. My first doctoral student，Vicky was an energetic student who labored at her dissertation on a little-known 14th century poet. She wrote articles and sent them off to learned journals. She did it all herself，with an occasional nudge from me. But I was there when she finished her dissertation，learned that her articles were accepted，got a job and won a fellowship to Harvard working on a book developing ideas she'd first had as my student.

    Another reason is George，who started as an engineering student，then switched to English because he decided he liked people better than things.

    There is Jeanne，who left college，but was brought back by her classmates because they wanted her to see the end of the self-reliance house project. I was here when she came back. I was there when she told me that she later became interested in the urban poor and went on to become a civil rights lawyer.

    There is Jacqui，a cleaning woman who knows more by intuition than most of us learn by analysis. Jacqui has decided to finish high school and go to college.

    These are the real reasons I teach，these people who grow and change in front of me. Being a teacher is being present at the creation，when the clay begins to breathe.

    A "promotion" out of teaching would give me money and power. But I have money. I get paid to do what I enjoy：reading，talking with people，and asking question like，"What is the point of being rich？"

    And I have power. I have the power to nudge，to fan sparks，to suggest books，to point out a pathway. What other power matters？

    But teaching offers something besides money and power：it offers love. Not only the love of learning and of books and ideas，but also the love that a teacher feels for that rare student who walks into a teacher's life and begins to breathe. Perhaps love is the wrong word：magic might be better.

    I teach because，being around people who are beginning to breathe，I occasionally find myself catching my breath with them.